Depress and failed, why?

November 4th, 2009 by xunler 3 comments »

Question: I am always depressed and gloomy to the high level, I tried to read so many books that talk about my situation but I failed. Please advice on the treatment.

In this society today, to be rational is very difficult. When you are sad you have to pretend that you are happy, when you down and out, you have to appear as an outgoing and cheerful person. This emotion is pulling people at the opposite way just like when you are want to go south but is pulled to the north.

There are lots of treatments available on depression and you can find it all over the websites or doctors. But no matter how hard you tried, you failed because you have to appear positive on the outside even though deep down you are not feeling well.

Have you ever wonder why one is so depress when he or she cannot get over their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend no matter how hard they have tried? You must have heard it tens or even hundreds of times.

The first thing you have to do is to accept the condition you are in. You are in a depress condition, although it is term as negative feelings but who give term depress as a wrong or negative feelings? The society is giving it a name but in real life journey there is nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong in negative feelings as long as the feeling is connected to you. You are more true to yourself than people who just have the appearance but no connection. This is a very dangerous statement but who says a life or even meditative life is a peaceful route?

Everybody had always thought that to write a meditative piece is to be somewhere deep in the mountain. However, the great master George used to write his meditative piece in cafes, in the middle crowded street in Paris, there is where he created his masterpiece. In a quiet place everybody can write a peaceful beautiful writing but a crowded and noisy street only he who is quiet and has stillness within himself is able to perceive.

Try to perform some meditation but at the same time treat it as a life journey, when you have achieved the meditative state ask yourself what do you learn from there? Then the answer is your own journey, your own experience and your own path.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

–The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in above link–

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How to begin meditation as a life journey?

October 28th, 2009 by xunler 3 comments »

Question: I prefer life journey meditation instead of quick and easy meditation. How can I do this? Please help.

Understanding of life and life cycle is part of learning in meditation. In order to treat it as a life journey, we have to combine the east and west meditation techniques.

Perspective of life is often one of the main factor people fall deep into emotional traps in life. This happens when ones keep revolving certain problems in life in a circle by feeling trap in the problem itself.

The first principle of life understanding is to lead life as it is. There is no right or wrong in our life journey. You and I, we are just a drop of water in the ocean. As such, most importantly life does not revolve around each of us and we are just part of the universe. This may sound philosophical but how to understand and experience this statement?

There are quick and easy meditation or west methods that can help you to experience the vast universe. A lot of people know how to use meditation for relaxation but how about using these techniques as an experience towards meditative state, the feeling of part of the vast of not only this world but the whole universe?

Have you ever wonder why you are feeling the vibration and hollowness in you while you are doing Om Meditation? Or are you feeling that you are not the one breathing in yoga breathing meditation? Have you ever experience the feelings that cannot be express in words?

This is the miracle, the gift in human being on searching the right foot.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

“The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com”

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Perfectionist, are you or are you not?

October 22nd, 2009 by xunler No comments »

Question: I work in a corporate and I am a perfectionist in work. I believe I am a perfectionist in life as well, as I am living exquisitely. Why do I feel something is struggling inside me?

There is no real perfectionist worker in this world

You are working in a corporate and there is no perfection in corporate, why? Let me tell you a story:
“Gary is a manager in his early thirties. He works very hard to become what he is today. He is also a perfectionist and has a very positive attitude in his job. He is the perfect young manager that everybody envied and of course he is very pleased with himself too. Being a perfectionist himself, he is demanded to be presentable in front of the directors and VP. So whenever, when the one of the director or VP is in the office he has to stay back to show that he is presentable by working hard.”

Well, this is a very typical example of a working corporate life. Do you think Gary is having a perfect life while he cannot even decide when he decides to go off at work? Do you think he has a final say in his work in such case? Do you think he is still a perfectionist?

A real perfect person should only do what he really likes and for himself. If you cannot even lead your own life then you will feel something is missing sooner or later because deep down inside you know that something is wrong. Having a perfect life does not mean to have all the precious expensive things but a life that you really want, your life purpose in this world. Life has only one chance and you live for only once, even if you go to another cycle of reincarnation it is not you anymore, do you know how precious you are in this world?

Think about this. You are probably a graduate from a reputable university and had spent almost one third of your life in studying, then another one third now that I am pretty sure that you are struggling to be a perfectionist. As a child or teenager, you do not have a chance to choose what you really want but at least stand up and take over your life at this second stage of life. Living blindly is not taking you anywhere.

What is your purpose in life? Now, there is nothing to hold you back, what do you really want in your life? Find your own key.

A master say, “Everybody will arrive at the same, you may be taking a shorter or longer route but wisdom is the only key.”

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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Difficulty to re-enter into meditative state

October 15th, 2009 by xunler 4 comments »

Question: Due to constant medication on depression and unbalance lifestyle, I have come to learn that quick and easy meditation helps in my condition. I started meditation, two weeks ago and it went on well but I cannot goes into meditative state for the second time. Please help.

After understanding about meditative state, it is pretty easy to experience the condition and meditate. There are only two types of people, one who can practice meditation quietly for example passive meditation, while some needs active meditation like running.

You are successful the first time in passive meditation because you are so desperately need the rest which you have not taste before in your whole life, your whole body has taken over your mind. This is good, very good for a first timer.

However, on the other hand, when you do the meditation on the second time, you have some expectations, you are comparing the experience on first and the second time, you wanted to taste more by comparing the state that you are in. With comparison, the ego kicks in. Hence, the mind is also there.

What I can suggest to you is, try to do a second type of meditation, if you are doing passive previously try Om, Reiki or even Yoga breathing meditation.

But do remember, eventually these are only relaxing meditation techniques, to really combat your depression, deep profound understanding of life via meditation is needed as well.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com —

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How to eliminate negative feelings?

October 3rd, 2009 by xunler 3 comments »

Question: I always have this negative feeling inside me feeling sad and angry when the thing or the person does not go my way. It happens very often, can you help?

You are expecting people and things to go your way every time because you have hope and expectations for them. You have to understand that things and people are not within your control. Every single object in this earth belongs to the universe and it has it’s own natural way to take care of them.

When you think you are angry, you are not. The ego is hurting, not you. As long as ego exists, you will lose your cool in every single encounter.

 Try to watch the sadness or angriness when they exist,  be aware when the ego starts to take over you. Slowly, you will be able to identify that without the ego, you are still there and ego is just purely nothingness.

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999.  Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of her work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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Real meaning of doing meditation? | Your answer all here

September 22nd, 2009 by xunler 3 comments »

 Question: You have been encouraging meditation in your website, I want to know and understand the real meaning of doing meditation? Is it alright to use them just as a tool for relaxation?

 There is a difference understanding of meditation in the east and west. Meditation is originated in the east, in India and subsequently in China through different natures.

If you are living in the east, you may have heard before “this is the way of life”, “this is how we have endured for the whole life” or “this is part of the life journey”. Life journey is part of the sayings passing from the old to the young especially when you have met with some obstacles in the east.

 However, if you are living in the west, you resolve problems quickly, find solutions, find answer when you hit with a problem. This is why meditation has become one of the relaxation techniques and eventually combined with the research in alpha and beta waves that you had read about.

Nowadays, with globalization, cultures had cross-reference and meditation is accepted as one of the ways in therapy for stressful and tension community. If you are living in a develop country right now it is now very common if you hear about Om meditation or Yoga meditation. All these are relaxation techniques that you can use for overcoming your daily stress or problems you are facing.

The question is, how far do you want to go in meditation? Meditation itself is a life journey, is an art of understanding the way of life. Are you ready to live a meditation life, without any ego, any self and nothingness? If you practice meditation as a life journey then you have to be willing to leave your ego, comparison and even the competitiveness behind.

But before these you have to understand how the life around you function, the perspective towards life have to change first. As I have mentioned before, you have to be able understand or experience that “no matter how much you have achieved you are just running in a circle” and in a circle there is “a dot in the centre that is always unmoved”.circledot

I am not saying to leave you family members and goes deep into mountain for meditation. Meditation is just a tool for you to experience the understanding of the circle and the dot. Stay where you are, do what you think deem to do and do not stop searching for yourself and the dot in you.

Since you are into meditation, instead of using it as a relaxation method, try to experience the nothingness, the egoless and you will find your own way.

—The author —

XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999.  Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. More works can be seen at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

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Lost even have everything? Why?

September 15th, 2009 by xunler 2 comments »

Question: I have almost everything, a good career, a family of my own. I don’t have any worries at this point of my life, why am I still feeling something is missing?

This happens because all achievements you have done is on the outside. Career, money, power and sometimes family are achievements, your ego. The children have to go into a prestigious school, the wife have to be presentable to the guests, friends and relatives but still be able to have good career and etc.

These are all for the outside, for show, presentable for the audiences, the relatives, colleagues, friends, neighbors, all these people are your audiences.

But still, nothing has been done to your inner being. You have been ignoring your true being, what is really wanted by you, yourself, your being. Everybody knows that they are going to leave this world one day, it may be in a week, a month, a year, few years, tens of years.

You may have been in this earth for thirty, forty or fifty years, but you may have done nothing to your being, you may have forget to let your being grow.

The great master was saying, all these you have accumulated in this earth are all dusts, and grow horizontally, expanding your horizon, but only very few have decided to grow vertically for the being, which is mindfulness, no-mind or godliness that someone had put across.

Try to put your ego behind, try to see what you are before the career, the family, the money, everything you have accumulated on the outside.

Try to look inside and with no worries, it is good to start with meditation, searching within you and yourself.

 Visit: http://lifejourneyanswer.com

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Coping with anxiety? | The answer.

September 4th, 2009 by xunler 2 comments »

Question: Is there a way to overcome anxiety? If there is how can I continue to live normally but without anxiety? How can I cope with anxiety?

You have to understand anxiety happens only when you live in the future. You may be afraid that you are not able to meet certain requirements that other people impose on you; it may be your parents, boss, husband, wife or even your children. This is the reason why you are always in an anxious state, trying to match up people expectation.

Have you stopped for a while, look deep into yourself, when did you start to live for the “now”? 

When you start living for the future, planning and strategizing for the future you had actually forgot what is happening now at this moment. When is the last time you went to beach and listen to the sound of the waves hitting onto the sand? That is the now, you are there, your totality was there, your brain, your mind, your soul, and everything is in tune, all-in-one.

The issue here is, it is not easy to let go, you are probably thinking of whether you WILL have a bigger car, a house in a better neighborhood, a higher promotion in your career every single minute, your ego is looking at the future. With this kind of living, do you think that you are living or just keep on planning on your life? After your have a big car, you want a branded luxury one, after your promotion to a manager or director you are aiming for a vice president or even your own business. All these will go on and on, it is just infinity, ego is boundless.

 There was one saying that human being likes to grasp for air, nothing is gain or lose in life. From the moment that human being is born, death is approaching every minute, we have lesser and lesser time as we grow.

Unless, one have seen all the things that ones gain is just dust on the being then, he or she will be able to let go and live his or her life. Searching for the real meaning of life needs courage, wisdom and intelligence. If one is not ready the master will not force you, he will let you go for another cycle, or another until you are ready. However, wisdom can be gained through understanding of life, just a little push, a little more courage and you are on the journey.

 Anxiety happens when someone is afraid of losing something, if you realized that you do not own anything in this world but just a passer-by. Be aware, by stepping one step behind, watch the anxiety when it arise in you, then you will be able to overcome this, overcome should not be the correct word, because anxiety is just the air, the journey has not started yet.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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Depressed and alone, what should I do?

August 30th, 2009 by xunler 3 comments »

Question: Whenever it is approaching weekend, I feel so sad and alone. I have few friends to talk to, as some had moved away from our small town here. I am now in my 30s. What should I do?

First of all, being alone is nothing wrong but being lonely is. Human being is very strange, people likes to be in groups or in a social group, not only one, but multiple different groups, groups that makes you looks good socially, or in status. But remember, the more you are in a group, you will feel more lonely inside. The reason is you had forgotten what you really wants in your own life.

Remember, nobody is responsible for you life, you may be blaming your parents or the whole society is making you feeling this way now, but you are the responsible for your own life, for at least these 60 to 70 years or even more.

Feeling depressed  in weekend had simply proven that you are actually driven or has been a slave in you job or your career because you had just practically lost youself in your job. You may choose to go out with friends this weekend and next weekend to a movie then to a drink, you can plan all your weekends but by the end you will still feeling lonely. Why? Because this may not a life that you really wants and being depend on other people is pushing the responsible to the other party.

Having courage to face ones life does not needs preaching, when you are alone try to meditate over the question you had put across, why you hate being alone? Is it just purely dependent? Human being will not die because of no friends but being without real direction of life, this is dangerous.

Understand you life journey and go for it.

More at :http://lifejourneyanswer.com/p5-innerjourney.html

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Insomnia, Dream at night | The solution

August 27th, 2009 by xunler 2 comments »

Question: Recently, I have dreams, multiple ones at night and this is killing me at the days as I don’t have enough rest. Is it possible to have a dreamless night?

Dreams happen when the mind exist. There are always tones of task and achievement that you wanted to have in the day but not all can be attain, this is the reason why you are having dreams at night.

You must have facing a lot of stress lately, even in your dream you in an examinations.  Leaving school ten years back and now makes no different because you have been bringing the stress and tension in you even at a subconscious level. With the new challenge you are facing at work, it has triggered your subconscious mind and appeared in your dream. It may be the last question in science or mathematics that you could not finish or even a case study that had stopped you thinking in the exam, it makes no difference.

Any expectations is creating tension, any desires is creating hungriness, as Lao Tzu had said, live naturally. Just do whatever that you deem fit. Live with the flow. It teaches effortless, naturalness.

Live naturally, live at the moment and then you will be free.

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