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How do I convince people to be peaceful at heart?

April 17th, 2010

Question: I was a very bad tempered person but after I joined a religion body I become more peaceful, how do I convince the ones I love to become more peaceful?

First of all, are you really peaceful in your heart? The answer is NO. Why? Because you talk about love ones, people who are important to you and etc.

Ones can only be peaceful if you are not burdened. You are not responsible to the people around you. I do not want to use the word love ones because the definition is incorrect. There are no love ones in this entire world because you can love this person at this moment but the next moment you may wish the same person going to ‘hell’.

People around you may be important to you at this point of time but not the next. I used to see a lot of parents calling their children ‘darling’ in that moment but the next moment the children are called ‘brat’ or even ‘monster’.

Love only happens from moment to moment and there are no love ones in this entire world, no matter it is your husband, your wife or even your children, there are expectations you demand from them. To convince people to be peaceful, is like dropping water into the ocean, which is to no avail, without any use.

Real peace can only be attained when there are no burden, no expectation. If a person still has links, expectations and burden, to be peaceful is just a trick to the mind.

I have heard: A marketing sales manager talking a fresh and new marketing executive in a in retail shop. “You just need to remember one thing, when you talk to potential customer, keep repeating the word, you need this, you need this to relax your body, you need this for your parents, you need this after a hard day work like today…”

Keep on repeating the same words will drive the person unconsciously to a certain things.
Nowadays, there are also techniques available to let you talk to yourself to gain confidence and etc. These are methods to tune your mind to certain things but it will not remain forever. Everything that has a start definitely has an end.

Again, every human being is unique and to be peaceful does not mean it is right as it may be just a trick that you are trying to be nice.

Remember, to be peaceful in yourself is not doing.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—As a disciple from great masters, XunLer is a meditator since 1999. You can find more of the author works in http://lifejourneyanswer.com—

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Feeling hard to control emotions at times?

February 12th, 2010

Question: I was insulted by someone at work today. I am losing my peace even though the issue that comes up is not entirely my fault. How can I gain mental peace? I am trying to meditate but failed as the thoughts keep haunting me.

The action of blaming is by another party (someone at work) and you are only re-acting to the situation. In the society that we are living today, people are re-acting to one another and emotions have become a chain.

I have heard: when a person angry at work, he scolds his subordinate. When his subordinate goes home, he scolds his wife, then his wife scolds their kid. Since the kid does not have anybody to vent his or her frustration, he vent his anger on a stray dog, that is how the chain reaction goes, always base on the action by somebody else.

When you say that you are trying to meditate in order to gain peace then it is a VERY wrong approach. You cannot force yourself to sit quietly when you are losing your peace. When you are angry your heart rate is increase and you are on high alertness, so it is very wrong to suppress the anger inside you. When you are angry or even not gaining peace then let IT be. There is nothing wrong with the feeling. In other words, you are giving ‘negative’ sign to your feelings.

Instead of trying to meditate when you are angry, let the awareness arises in you. It is pretty hard to begin awareness when you lost your cool. This is the reason why many masters have told disciples to have awareness and understanding at all times.

With awareness of emotions and through life understanding, you will gain the peace that you are searching. Meditation techniques are used for relaxation at your free time but it is not a tool to clam your nerves or to reverse your emotion or your feelings when you are feeling unrest.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com
**As a disciple from great masters, XunLer is a meditator since 1999. You can find more of the author works in http://lifejourneyanswer.com**

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Why am I emotionless?

January 7th, 2010

Question: I am so scared, I do not have any emotion, it already happened for 6 months. Is there something wrong with me? I need to be free. Please help.

First of all, every human being has emotion. Happiness and sadness is just the mirror image of each other.

You are shutting yourself away from the people around you assuming that friends and family do not understand you. There is nobody in this world understand the other unless this particular person has some insight on the bigger picture.

Do not create expectations for other to understand you either. Relying on people to understand you is as good as pushing responsibility to others. Each of us is an individual, account for yourself, for who you are.

There is a story, a few people had gone hunting and they came across a camp of a great master. The hunters looked into the camp and saw the disciples were whirling inside the camp. The hunters thought “These people must be mad, how can people find out the truth by doing this?” There is no history, no record saying truth can be found by whirling.
At sunset, the hunters were on their way back, they were thinking, by now, a lot of madness must have taken place in the master’s camp. To their surprise, all the disciples were sitting inside the camp with closed eyes.
A month had passed. It is the hunting season again. The hunters saw the camp, it is still there. To their surprised again, the camp is empty, only the master is in. All the disciples had gone. The hunters thought this guy must be crazy, all the people had escaped.
So, they asked the master “Where are your disciples? When we were here last month, there are a lot of people inside this camp.”
The master said “They had danced, they had found, they had absorbed and they had left. They will bring the next batch soon.”

Try to un-learned the learned, once you are being yourself again then freedom is all yours.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com
—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of the work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com—

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Relationship Problems and Inner Peace

December 28th, 2009

Question: I am 28 and married for 5 years. This marriage was an arranged marriage. My husband is a nice guy from a very mediocre family from the countryside but he has many health problems. I have met a wonderful guy now and I need to know how can I be psychologically ready to resolve this problem?

Society is separating people into different social status. When there is a difference in class and status, people in the higher status would like to experience the luxury that they are having while the poor is striving to reach the better social status. If only the human being is able to see that there is no social status in the world, social status is created out of the ego, out of the nothingness.

And love is a very fragile bond, love may be flowing this moment but the next moment, it will not be there. Love will not exist forever but moment to moment. Things or matter that will not change or stagnant will become stink, spoiled just like water in a closed jar. Love is like an ocean, vast and with waves.

Human being should not live in the past in memories but living in the now, in this moment. In the east, there are quite a lot of things that people need to follow, a lot of traditions. I am not against traditions, there are lessons to learn from different traditions but these traditions needs to go through transition. The master say, if only the east and west merge then the real freedom may be possible.

There is no right or wrong in relationship and remember every human has their own journey. It may be difficult for you to choose a path but the journey is yours and you, only you, knows which path really fits you. Remember, every human being is special and unique.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more at the above link.–

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Abondoning and inner self

December 18th, 2009

Question: I am in my twenties. I live half a globe away from my parents which adopted me when I was 9. Festive season like this always makes me wondering why my real parents gave me up. How can this thought go away? Will it affect my inner life journey?

This thought cannot vanish into the air as you wish. Thoughts and mind are very alike. The more you tried to make it disappear the more it will come back to you.

Every single human being in this world IS very unique. There are no two similar persons in this world lead the same life experience. Each of the experience belongs only to you. There were sayings that “children are very unique to the parents”. This is not right because every human being is unique only to their own, nobody own the other. Please bear this in mind.

There are a lot of stories that sees only one sibling or one in the family begin their inner journey themselves. A very solid understanding and experience can lead ones to the path.

These may be your experience and your understanding that brings you to your inner self. It may be a good start for you.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more at the above link.–

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I feel like I am rushing through my life

November 13th, 2009

Question: I am not sure why I like to rush things. For example, I like to rush everything from my daily routine like bathing and having dinner to things at work. I often feel very stressful too.

Rushing things is an action that is against the flow. When you feel the rush in you, you are fighting against the flow of the river.

There are a lot of great masters symbolize life as a flow in the river. Anything that is against the flow of life needs energy. Why? Because flowing against the river needs energy. Even a rock at the centre of the river is fighting against the flow to be there, to be still.

You have to understand that life is moving every single day. From the day, a human is born, death is also approaching. I am not saying “do not live because death is nearer everyday” but live as much as possible.

When you are having a dinner, taste it, enjoy your dinner, the taste of sourness, sweetness, bitterness of the food. Enjoy the life, the dinner, as a human being.

While at work, deadlines and schedules will never disappear from your life at work. Why are you rushing? if the particular piece of work approaching deadlines, just stay back for another few hours. Enjoy the work and work is no longer work if you enjoy yourself in it. Love the quietness of the environment that you are in. Most of all, do not force yourself and just flow with the river.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. You can find more at http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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Depress and failed, why?

November 4th, 2009

Question: I am always depressed and gloomy to the high level, I tried to read so many books that talk about my situation but I failed. Please advice on the treatment.

In this society today, to be rational is very difficult. When you are sad you have to pretend that you are happy, when you down and out, you have to appear as an outgoing and cheerful person. This emotion is pulling people at the opposite way just like when you are want to go south but is pulled to the north.

There are lots of treatments available on depression and you can find it all over the websites or doctors. But no matter how hard you tried, you failed because you have to appear positive on the outside even though deep down you are not feeling well.

Have you ever wonder why one is so depress when he or she cannot get over their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend no matter how hard they have tried? You must have heard it tens or even hundreds of times.

The first thing you have to do is to accept the condition you are in. You are in a depress condition, although it is term as negative feelings but who give term depress as a wrong or negative feelings? The society is giving it a name but in real life journey there is nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong in negative feelings as long as the feeling is connected to you. You are more true to yourself than people who just have the appearance but no connection. This is a very dangerous statement but who says a life or even meditative life is a peaceful route?

Everybody had always thought that to write a meditative piece is to be somewhere deep in the mountain. However, the great master George used to write his meditative piece in cafes, in the middle crowded street in Paris, there is where he created his masterpiece. In a quiet place everybody can write a peaceful beautiful writing but a crowded and noisy street only he who is quiet and has stillness within himself is able to perceive.

Try to perform some meditation but at the same time treat it as a life journey, when you have achieved the meditative state ask yourself what do you learn from there? Then the answer is your own journey, your own experience and your own path.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

–The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in above link–

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Perfectionist, are you or are you not?

October 22nd, 2009

Question: I work in a corporate and I am a perfectionist in work. I believe I am a perfectionist in life as well, as I am living exquisitely. Why do I feel something is struggling inside me?

There is no real perfectionist worker in this world

You are working in a corporate and there is no perfection in corporate, why? Let me tell you a story:
“Gary is a manager in his early thirties. He works very hard to become what he is today. He is also a perfectionist and has a very positive attitude in his job. He is the perfect young manager that everybody envied and of course he is very pleased with himself too. Being a perfectionist himself, he is demanded to be presentable in front of the directors and VP. So whenever, when the one of the director or VP is in the office he has to stay back to show that he is presentable by working hard.”

Well, this is a very typical example of a working corporate life. Do you think Gary is having a perfect life while he cannot even decide when he decides to go off at work? Do you think he has a final say in his work in such case? Do you think he is still a perfectionist?

A real perfect person should only do what he really likes and for himself. If you cannot even lead your own life then you will feel something is missing sooner or later because deep down inside you know that something is wrong. Having a perfect life does not mean to have all the precious expensive things but a life that you really want, your life purpose in this world. Life has only one chance and you live for only once, even if you go to another cycle of reincarnation it is not you anymore, do you know how precious you are in this world?

Think about this. You are probably a graduate from a reputable university and had spent almost one third of your life in studying, then another one third now that I am pretty sure that you are struggling to be a perfectionist. As a child or teenager, you do not have a chance to choose what you really want but at least stand up and take over your life at this second stage of life. Living blindly is not taking you anywhere.

What is your purpose in life? Now, there is nothing to hold you back, what do you really want in your life? Find your own key.

A master say, “Everybody will arrive at the same, you may be taking a shorter or longer route but wisdom is the only key.”

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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How to eliminate negative feelings?

October 3rd, 2009

Question: I always have this negative feeling inside me feeling sad and angry when the thing or the person does not go my way. It happens very often, can you help?

You are expecting people and things to go your way every time because you have hope and expectations for them. You have to understand that things and people are not within your control. Every single object in this earth belongs to the universe and it has it’s own natural way to take care of them.

When you think you are angry, you are not. The ego is hurting, not you. As long as ego exists, you will lose your cool in every single encounter.

 Try to watch the sadness or angriness when they exist,  be aware when the ego starts to take over you. Slowly, you will be able to identify that without the ego, you are still there and ego is just purely nothingness.

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999.  Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of her work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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Lost even have everything? Why?

September 15th, 2009

Question: I have almost everything, a good career, a family of my own. I don’t have any worries at this point of my life, why am I still feeling something is missing?

This happens because all achievements you have done is on the outside. Career, money, power and sometimes family are achievements, your ego. The children have to go into a prestigious school, the wife have to be presentable to the guests, friends and relatives but still be able to have good career and etc.

These are all for the outside, for show, presentable for the audiences, the relatives, colleagues, friends, neighbors, all these people are your audiences.

But still, nothing has been done to your inner being. You have been ignoring your true being, what is really wanted by you, yourself, your being. Everybody knows that they are going to leave this world one day, it may be in a week, a month, a year, few years, tens of years.

You may have been in this earth for thirty, forty or fifty years, but you may have done nothing to your being, you may have forget to let your being grow.

The great master was saying, all these you have accumulated in this earth are all dusts, and grow horizontally, expanding your horizon, but only very few have decided to grow vertically for the being, which is mindfulness, no-mind or godliness that someone had put across.

Try to put your ego behind, try to see what you are before the career, the family, the money, everything you have accumulated on the outside.

Try to look inside and with no worries, it is good to start with meditation, searching within you and yourself.

 Visit: http://lifejourneyanswer.com

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