Archive for August, 2009

Depressed and alone, what should I do?

August 30th, 2009

Question: Whenever it is approaching weekend, I feel so sad and alone. I have few friends to talk to, as some had moved away from our small town here. I am now in my 30s. What should I do?

First of all, being alone is nothing wrong but being lonely is. Human being is very strange, people likes to be in groups or in a social group, not only one, but multiple different groups, groups that makes you looks good socially, or in status. But remember, the more you are in a group, you will feel more lonely inside. The reason is you had forgotten what you really wants in your own life.

Remember, nobody is responsible for you life, you may be blaming your parents or the whole society is making you feeling this way now, but you are the responsible for your own life, for at least these 60 to 70 years or even more.

Feeling depressed  in weekend had simply proven that you are actually driven or has been a slave in you job or your career because you had just practically lost youself in your job. You may choose to go out with friends this weekend and next weekend to a movie then to a drink, you can plan all your weekends but by the end you will still feeling lonely. Why? Because this may not a life that you really wants and being depend on other people is pushing the responsible to the other party.

Having courage to face ones life does not needs preaching, when you are alone try to meditate over the question you had put across, why you hate being alone? Is it just purely dependent? Human being will not die because of no friends but being without real direction of life, this is dangerous.

Understand you life journey and go for it.

More at :http://lifejourneyanswer.com/p5-innerjourney.html

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Insomnia, Dream at night | The solution

August 27th, 2009

Question: Recently, I have dreams, multiple ones at night and this is killing me at the days as I don’t have enough rest. Is it possible to have a dreamless night?

Dreams happen when the mind exist. There are always tones of task and achievement that you wanted to have in the day but not all can be attain, this is the reason why you are having dreams at night.

You must have facing a lot of stress lately, even in your dream you in an examinations.  Leaving school ten years back and now makes no different because you have been bringing the stress and tension in you even at a subconscious level. With the new challenge you are facing at work, it has triggered your subconscious mind and appeared in your dream. It may be the last question in science or mathematics that you could not finish or even a case study that had stopped you thinking in the exam, it makes no difference.

Any expectations is creating tension, any desires is creating hungriness, as Lao Tzu had said, live naturally. Just do whatever that you deem fit. Live with the flow. It teaches effortless, naturalness.

Live naturally, live at the moment and then you will be free.

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Is there a way to get out of depression with self help?

August 23rd, 2009

Question: I am of medication for depression for sometime and is looking for relaxation technique that can help me to relax when I am feeling down. Can you help me to find a relaxation method?

Congratulations on getting off the anti-depression. There are a few relaxation method or technique that can help you. With the background that you had sent over, I would like to recommend to you a meditation technique – Passive meditation which is listed on the link below.

On the other hand there are others quich and easy relaxation methods as well, try it out and see if this improve your sleep, you can do it one hour before going to bed.

But try to look at deep meditation section, it will help you to understand the life cycle. All depression has a cause and to understand how the life function and to experience the real journey can help you more. yi

“Struggle is battle and ease is peace”.

http://lifejourneyanswer.com/s1a-quickneasymeditation.html

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Can I meditate in order not to hate my job?

August 22nd, 2009

Question: I really hate my job,  mu job sucks, is it possible to use meditation to overcome this?

Almost 90% of the population do not like their job and it is no surprise that you are one of them. Meditation cannot be used to overcome fear, rejection or hate.

Originally, meditation techniques are not used for overcome situation. Meditation techniques are used for relaxation and probably help in your daily life. You may used it to press down the anger inside you but it will not last long. You will again come back and ask for more.

Now, back to the question, human has an average of 60 – 70 years of life. One third was used in study another one third may be waiting for death. Now you are at the middle of the one third, which is the supreme prime time for trancesdental to a higher stage of human life and you are saying that you hate your job. If you hate if quit it. But then you will come back and say, you need money for living, right? If you live in a life with hatred spending almost 10 hours per day, do you think you can be in real meditative state.

If you really want to find the real journey for yourself, find something that you really want to do, love to do and then you will feel active in working but inactive inside and you are one with the whole.

Remember, your consciousness is guiding you, just trust your consciousness and you are at home.

When you are ready for a deeper meditation, then we will talke about it.

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Why am I feeling sad during meditation?

August 20th, 2009

Question: I always feel sad during meditation, sometimes even in tears, is this normal?

There is a lot of emotional suppression in today’s world. Nobody faces their own emotion anymore irregardless at work or at home. When you are feeling sad, you have to smile, when you feel like smiling you have to control even your laughter nowadays, this is how the society works these days. Can you imagine courses of teaching people how to laugh? This is the most irritating teaching that I have ever heard.

 

There are even trainings for you to suppress your emotion for example when you are surprised you have to pretend you are calm, when you are angry you have to suppress and smile and etc. All these are misleading you to ignore your fear, your anger, your sadness because all these are thought to be negative emotions.

 

Sadness, unhappiness, anger are terms as “negative energy” but these are all lies. What is right and what is wrong in this world? Is negative emotion wrong?  If there is no negative emotion then it is impossible to have positive emotion, all these are just relative to each other, complementing each other.

 

You are experiencing this because there are too much suppression inside you and in fact deep down you feel sad an sorry for yourself. This is still not meditative state, this is just the beginning of meditative state.

 

Meditative state appears only where there is no-mind. You are feeling sadness now because the meditation technique is helping and  trying to clear your conscious mind, unless you confront and accept your own emotion, else there is impossible to experience meditative state.

 

Do not judge the sadness that is arising from the inner awareness, just watch the sadness appear inside you without judging right or wrong. Relax and be aware of the sadness, be neutral just watch it. Slowly, meditative state will appear before you, then you are open, the door to the universe is prepared.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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Feeling relieve/happiness in sadness?

August 19th, 2009

 Question: I always feel better after being in sadness for sometime, could you please tell me what is wrong with me?

Have you heard of “ying” and “yang” in Chinese culture? If you notice the symbol in Taoism? It is known as active and passive energy, man and woman, sun and moon and etc.

If you look at the symbol, the white and the black area are totally opposite of each other and in the white area there is a circle of black while in the black area there is a bit of the white. What is this?yingyang

Actually, these two polarities had covered the whole life journey that we can talk about. Coming back to the topic of why you always feel better or even happy in sadness? There is because in the black there is always a white circle to balance your emotion.

Let your emotion flow and watch it. When you are feeling sad, watch without judging, watch the emotion arise in you, sadness is not wrong. There is no happiness if sadness is not there. They are just complimenting each other. Detach yourself and watch the emotion.

Sadness is not wrong, happiness is not right either. The only right thing to do is not to deny the emotion inside you.

Nowadays, there are a lot of faces, when you are feeling down you have to pretend that you are alright, when you don’t feel like smiling you have to smile, all these have shielded your own true self from you. In fact, the whole world has become crazy. It is not wrong to shield your un-happiness or sadness when you are face with the whole stress of work and society. Tough and hard faces are needed when you are giving a speech or fighting a war.

But when it comes to you and yourself, you should not deny the emotions you have in you. Be aware of your own self and most importantly do not betray or denied your own emotion.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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Feeling empty in love?

August 14th, 2009

You are feeling this because you had never felt what is love before. In the society today, a lot of so called “love” is expected to have returns. When you love your father, your mother, your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, you are expecting they love you back. It is even better if they love you more, than you love them, because the one who is ready to give more love is the one to be manipulated. There is a reason why there is saying that the parents can never win their own children because the parents always love the children more. Just remember, if love is use on a weighing scale then it is just plainly manipulation, it is never pure love.

Pure love can temporary fill your whole heart. Have you ever remember the first girl or the first boy that you like when you are young? This particular person may not be rich, handsome or good in study but you are just purely attractive to him or her? This is pure love, love without any convention. But pure love can only last for some time, then the environment kicks in, the logic mind came in, you will expect more from him or her. This is what had happened to boy-girl, parents-children, husband-wife relationship.

To have a heart fill with love, the love produce have to be constantly over-flowing out from you. If you have been in meditative state before you may have glimpses of this feeling before. You may have feel that you almost explode with love and you have to let the love over-flow from you to the others. It is never easy to describe love with words but understanding with meditative experience do helps.

If you are not ready for meditation yet, observe and understand more on things happens around you. Try to be aware of everything that you do.

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Why do I feel bored in life?

August 14th, 2009

Question: Once in a while I always feel bored in life and I feel like nothing is important anymore as if, if I die the next moment has no meaning at all. Why am I feeling this way?

There is nothing wrong to feel this way, at least you are true to yourself and you are not trying to distract yourself with un-necessary activities.

Bored is just a result of the mind. Try to understand this. “I” am bored, who is the “I”? This “I” is just the product of the ego. The “I” is never existed. It is only built over the years beginning with having the name, the age, and the things (the master will use the “dust”) that you gained and have along your life. In real, there is no “I”.

If you understand deeper, you will see that you are running at a no-ending desire, you may be staying at a house worth half a million now, then you are aiming at a bigger house that cost double, then how about staying in a better neighborhood? Another vacation home? A home with a larger piece of land or on top of the mountain? See the ego now? Desires are without boundaries.

Think about it, you will not have the chance to feel bored if you are hungry for food or a goal that need to achieved. You are feeling bored at this moment because whatever you desired is already there and your mind has not decided on a new goal yet. With the technologies that human is having now, every human will come to this stage where the basic necessity is fulfilled then they will start to explore the reason, their journey in life. This will come sooner or later but it will come sooner for the more advance countries where there are no more worries for the basic necessity.

It is alright to feel bored and understanding of boredom is much more important than finding the next goal and running around it again. When you are bored, try to meditate on your boredom, try your best to understand it and be aware of whatever actions that you doing. Slowly, by and by you will experience the taste of life.

Meditation is a form of deep listening, listen to your inner voice. When you are silence, voices no longer exist. Then the nature flows. Don’t listen to anybody, go deep into your nature, that is the only way to find your own voice, the clearer the voice, the more you steps in the right direction.

Life journey is like swimming, you cannot teach someone swimming without bringing him to the pool or to the sea. No matter how you describe swimming to him will not help until he himself starts floating on the water.

© by Xunler at http://lifejourneyanswer.com

—The author XunLer is a disciple from a great master is practicing meditation since 1999. Self-searching is the real route of all life journey. You can find more of his work in http://lifejourneyanswer.com –

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